


Intrusive Thoughts

by DarkwingDukat (pushingcrazies)



Series: Angstnatural [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Allusions to suicidal/homicidal thoughts, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29265909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushingcrazies/pseuds/DarkwingDukat
Summary: Dean is plagued by intrusive thoughts.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Angstnatural [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149206
Kudos: 11





	Intrusive Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this just for Tumblr, but I may have a few more angsty ficlets I will be posting, so I want to collect them all in the same series.

Dean is plagued by intrusive thoughts.

Not that he knows them as such. To him they’re just the little voice in the back of his head that tells him to do crazy or dangerous things. Silly things. Self-destructive things. 

Like the time it’s just him and Sammy on a winding mountain road at quarter to two in the morning, Sammy long since asleep, and a hundred miles still to go. There hasn’t been another car for forty minutes, his headlights shine through a fine mist of almost-snow, and there is a gap in the guardrail.

_Drive through it. End this now._

Or the time Lisa is lying face down on the bed, topless, while Dean straddles her back. His hands dig deep into her muscles, pulling all sorts of sinful noises from her mouth. He works his way up her shoulders and to her neck, feels the strength in his fingers rub away the knots of tension.

_Break her neck. Put her out of her misery._

Or once in the kitchen of the bunker, making sandwiches for lunch, and Dean uses the last of the pickles. They’re between cases, between apocalypses, and Sammy keeps making faces at him for some reason.

_Chug the pickle juice._

This time Dean gives in, if only to watch Sammy go from relaxed to horrified to annoyed to laughter. To see his eyes light up in a way they haven’t for months ( _years_ ). To see Cas chuckle even though he doesn’t quite understand the joke. To see Cas try a sip and make a face that sends Dean into hysterics. And still Cas smiles, as if Dean’s joy is reason enough to make a fool of himself.

But when the next thoughts come -

 _Kiss the laugh lines_. _Feel his chapped lips against yours._

\- he ignores them. After all, when the voice gives him random commands, he’s long since learned to push away the self-destructive ones.


End file.
